TMI

WARNING.  This post might be TMI.  AND I'm going to use the word "boobs."
Since the summer of 1985 I have hated my boobs, or lack there of.  It was during that summer that I overheard a boy from school (who shall remain nameless) say that from 6th grade on, the boys were ONLY going to like girls that could fill out their Victoria's Secrets.  I knew without a doubt I wasn't going to be on that list.   Throughout the rest of my school days, pool party invites brought me to tears.  Gym locker rooms and public changing rooms (i.e. the Units store at Woodland Hills Mall) struck a fear in me like no other.  I kept thinking I was a late bloomer.  I kept hoping that someday...That someday never came.  I'm still hoping I'm a late bloomer but chances are slim.  I still hate that I can't fill out anything from Victoria's Secret.  I am still self-concious.  Bathing suit season still makes me cry.

So imagine how excited I was to bare it all and have my first mammogram 6 weeks ago.  I knew it had to be done but I was really dreading it.  Then came the letter that said I needed a follow up because of "suspicious findings."  I've spent the last 6 weeks topless in countless examining rooms having mammograms, ultrasounds, examinations, MRIs and finally a biopsy.  I thought it seemed almost a cruel joke that I was forced to spend so much time concentrating on the one area of my body that I've always hated the most.  I've heard over and over again by the nurses that I have "very little to work with" and was told that because I don't have a "bounce factor" I should recover quickly from my biopsy.  It's been a long six weeks.  I received the news Tuesday that my biopsy was benign and I've never been more relieved or thankful. 

I'm so grateful for friends and family that prayed for me and watched my kids for me during all the many doctor's appointments.  I'm so thankful for modern medicine that can detect these things and for my God who answered our prayers for a benign result.  I'm so happy to put this boob saga behind me.  I don't mean to make light of the situation either.  I can't even imagine what it would have been like to have had the radiologist walk in and give us the opposite results and I feel for all the women who've sat in that room and heard what I prayed I wouldn't hear.  I am beyond blessed.

So there you have the reason for my slow pace over the last 6 weeks.  I've had trouble concentrating on work or even finding time to work between all these doctor appointments.  I found myself unable to think about anything other than how all this would change life for my family if the results were other than benign.  I apologize to those of you that have been waiting on me to respond to emails or finish up your orders, but life is fianlly back to normal and I'm ready to get back to business...as soon as Spring Break is over.  I'm thinking a Celebration Sale is in order!!!  Which item would you like to see one sale???

P.S.  Go get a mammogram.  It's no fun but go get one anyway.